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It was the tail end of a three-day supervisory seminar, which the “facilitator” insisted on calling a “colloquy,” and he came up one hour short on material. Unwilling to cut everybody loose early, the Head Cheese assembled the guest speakers on stage. Then he asked us to name three characteristics of a successful supervisor.
I heard responses sounding like “the ability to effectually interface with political blah-blah” and “compassionately community-oriented yadda-yadda;” “skillfully techno-info-data combobulate” and crap like that. I just wanted some real coffee and no flight delays in Cleveland. My mind was elsewhere when the facilitator got to me.
I said something like, “Big muscles, fast fists, and slick shooting.” The others looked at me like a caveman had just appeared with a stone club in his hand. For a moment I thought they were going to convene an inquisition and charge me with heresy. I could see in many shocked eyes a look saying such things have no place in modern-metro-urban-sophisticated public safety. Maybe not, but they certainly still have a place — a critical place — in law enforcement in being a cop, and in leading cops.
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Our Stone Age Subculture
Sure, we operate complex equipment and tap-dance with technology, but out in the “dark & dirty,” the difference between our police subculture and virtually all others becomes crystal clear: In both the routine and the gravest extreme, we fight; we beat some people up and shoot others. Paint it purple and scent it with lavender if you like, but that’s what we do. And if we’re no good at it, no amount of sophistication and scholarship counts for squat.
If you don’t believe it, just ask yourself this: As a sergeant, no matter how techno-intelligent, computer-literate and sociologically savvy you are, if you are witnessed by your troops losing a straight-up punch-out with some street-corner punk, getting your ass kicked ground-fighting a drunk, or — God help you — you miss a life-saving shot at a hostage-taking stick-up turd; a shot any rookie could have made, just how much are your stripes — or your career aspirations — worth from that moment on?
Today’s troops are, in fact, more urbanized and intellectual than ever, but deep down, we supervise cultured cavemen, and they respect the same qualities all primitive warriors ever have: strength, fighting skills and weapons handling. How do you measure up?
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Irony & Incongruity
Ironically, these factors undoubtedly played some role in your promotion to sergeant, but holding the position can cripple those same qualities. If you were an iron-pumping gym rat or a dedicated shooter before you made rank, you may have found your overloaded plate of responsibilities has kept you away from the weights and the range. As for fighting skills, yours may have been the by-product of frequent fights, and your increased time behind a desk has dulled your edge.
Incongruously, although these characteristics can make or break you as a police sergeant, you’ll rarely find anyone in a position higher than yours in the food chain who has any interest in or appreciation for these factors — unless the absence of them reflects poorly on the department.
Very few administrators care whether your biceps bulge, you can fight your way out of a wet paper bag or you know which end of the pistol the bullet comes out. Ask them and they’ll tell you those things don’t matter at all for supervisors. Then later they’ll fire you for not having them.
Assuming The Worst
Some of you didn’t need to read this. Many only needed a reminder, and you’ll get back up to speed quickly. But if you’ve become a lax lard-ass, and fallen off of all three red wagons — read on.
First, there’s no room here for a course in bodybuilding. Keep it cheap, simple and not time-consuming.
Get a pair of fixed-weight dumbbells, each just as heavy as you can dead-hang curl five times. Start doing three sets of five reps, bicep and triceps curls, and do shoulder shrugs with the same weights. If you don’t know how, go online and find out. By the time you’re doing three sets of 20, you’ll enthusiastically learn more and do more. A beer belly is less noticeable when balanced by muscular arms.
For martial arts, I recommend Judo or Jiu-Jitsu over Karate or Tae Kwon Do. The skills taught are more appropriate for police work, and there are fewer poseurs and egomaniacs among the instructors. Start slow and go easy. Have fun. After a year, give yourself the gift of some boxing lessons with a pro coach. Tell him you want a good jab, hook, cross, blocks and some footwork. Become a stealth badass, and keep your mouth shut about it.
Finally, get back in touch with your sidearm. Fifty rounds a week isn’t much — yet it’s probably 2,000 more annually than you’re shooting now. Keep it simple. If you’re shooting a 10-round pistol for example, go with one mag right-handed, one left-, two mags of two-handed double-taps and rapid-fire. Then end with one mag of slow, precise shooting. There’s much more, but if you only do this, you’ll be lightyears ahead of where you are now. And your “inner caveman” will feel great about it.
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John Morrison served in combat as a Marine sergeant, and retired as a senior lieutenant from the San Diego Police Department, having served there as Director of Training, Commanding Officer of SWAT and division executive officer. He has taught, written and lectured widely on training, tactics and leadership. Contact him at StreetLevelOne@yahoo.com.
First published in the May/June 2008 issue of American COP. |
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